


routine

by laurus_nobillis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, death of a family member, it's all gonna be okay, no beta this is my cross to bear, self indulgent angst, tw: death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurus_nobillis/pseuds/laurus_nobillis
Summary: Kita Shinsuke lives by his routine.Kita Shinsuke loves that you effortlessly slid into his routine, making yourself an indispensable part of his life.Sometimes, though, life chooses not to follow a schedule. Sometimes, unexpected things happen.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Reader
Kudos: 14





	routine

**Author's Note:**

> goin thru some fun stuff with my family, so i wrote a very self-indulgent fic to feel better. hope y'all enjoy a healthy dose of mild angst <3

Kita Shinsuke lives by his routine.

Kita Shinsuke loves that you effortlessly slid into his routine, making yourself an indispensable part of his life. 

Sometimes, though, life chooses not to follow a schedule. Sometimes, unexpected things happen. 

You took it on the chin, helping your family plan the funeral services, choosing the burial plot, organizing lodging arrangements for family members traveling a significant distance. 

He holds your hand throughout the service, stays steady and constant by your side as you hug weeping relatives. You don't shed a tear, though your tired eyes reveal the weariness in your heart. 

He watches you carefully at dinner, ready at a moment's notice to excuse the two of you if it all becomes overwhelming. He waits for your silent signal, a soft glance or a touch to his leg under the table. 

But you don't. You square your shoulders and share wistful memories of your departed loved one with the family you're lucky to have in front of you. He quietly grasps your hand, and you look at him, eyes shining with a practiced smile. He thinks he knows this look, but this hasn't happened before - at least, not since he's known you. 

These things can't always be predicted, can't be scheduled or planned for. He doesn't know if this is something you've learned to handle, but you are handling it, better than anyone could've expected. 

Your calm presence soothes those around you as they grieve, a priceless gift that he thinks you might have anticipated. He wonders how long it will take until you feel like you've done your job, that you've taken care of everyone else before you let yourself feel all of the grief that he knows you're hiding away. 

Kita Shinsuke lives by his routine, and you live by yours, too. And it's when the unexpected happens that your routine is thrown to the wind, your sense of normalcy is quickly burnt up like kindling, tossed in that unexpected gust. Try as you might to grasp at it, to hold it close to your chest, the smoke inevitably rises and you're left with a new, slightly emptier normal. This unfamiliar existence is yours now, and you have to make peace with it. 

For you, that process happens on the back porch of your shared home as the sun slowly sets. The late summer sky is painted a blazing gold and orange and all of the family is gone, returning to their own homes on their own inevitable path to equilibrium. 

He holds your shaking shoulders as you sob into his chest, the weight of your assumed emotional duty finally taking you down with it. There's no one left to be strong for, he reminds you, let me do that now. He doesn't need to hear you accept. Instead, he takes your phone and powers it off, silencing the well-wishes and "I'm so sorry"s that are bombarding your device. His strong arms situate you in his lap as he quietly hums into your hair. The cicadas sing and the crickets and frogs chirp and he hums along, rubbing patient circles onto your back. 

Kita Shinsuke lives by his routine, and if your new normal means creating space in his routine for grieving, that's okay.

Kita Shinsuke loves you, even with your eyes red and stained with tears, even when your nearly endless strength runs out, and especially when you let him support you in absence and in excess of that strength. He loves you like it's inevitable, like the magnetic pull that drew him to you and keeps him stuck. 

He loves, he tells you, and it's going to be okay eventually. That's all that matters right now.


End file.
